Awakening Joy course - May

The topic for this month is "Finding Joy in Difficult Times." I am actually struggling with this since things are going so well for me right now and I am not experiencing much difficulty (except for my finals and the papers I have to write!). When I started this program back in February, however, I was certainly experiencing one of the most difficult periods of my life. And since everything changes, difficult times are sure to return to my life. So, this topic has much to offer; if nothing else, learning how to cope when those challenges come is a great tool to have in your toolbox.

The most important lesson, I believe, is not to deny when you are depressed or in pain. Finding joy does NOT mean pretending or forcing it. Being human is hard and we will feel difficulties, that is a fact. The Buddha even started out his teachings with the First Noble Truth that the unenlightened life is suffering. His exact word, dukkha, translates to mean stress, unsatisfactoriness, and unreliability. This we can all identify with. So it is not a question of 'if' the hard stuff comes, but 'when' it comes. But the hope we have is that our suffering can lead us to moksha, liberation. After all, the Buddha not only taught about suffering, but the end of suffering.

The first step is not to resist the pain when it comes. There is no use in complaining, whining, or wishing it were different. That actually only makes it worse. Instead, what we should do (and is completely counter intuitive) is open up to the experience. By staying open, you can learn to let the pain of life's inevitable challenges move through you rather than get stuck in you.

This requires mindfulness because the resistance that intensifies our suffering is in our mind. We need to stop trying to protect ourselves from our painful experiences and mindfully open to them. It is also important to remember that the pain and sorrow is not permanent. Everything changes. As we stay mindful with our pain, we soon learn that our suffering is not as solid as it appears.

In working with our pain there are two important steps:
1) Feeling your feelings (without getting lost in the story)
2) looking at how you can grow in this situation, deepening your understanding of the human experience and life.

Try this "Recasting Exercise"
1. Bring to mind a difficult situation you are dealing with in your life.
2. What are the emotions that you’re feeling? Have you allowed yourself to feel all the feelings?
3. What are the lessons you’re learning from this situation? How can you find meaning as you go through this difficulty?

Often, we will find that when we stay open to our suffering, we also open up to all the positive qualities that are inside us - understanding, compassion, and kindness. In learning to face our pain we deepen our compassion. And we find a courage we didn't know we had.

"There is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken, a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable."