Awakening Joy course - June

The topic for this month is Integrity. This might seem strange as a prescriptive for joy, but in Buddhist philosophy this is an integral part of happiness (pun intended!). The Buddha made the connection clear when he said,

For one who leads a virtuous life,
it is a natural law that remorse will not arise…
For one free of remorse,
it is a natural law that gladness will arise…
For one who is glad at heart,
it is a natural law that joy will arise.

Buddhists believe that living with integrity is the foundation for peace of mind and the happiness of a liberated heart. Compared with other sources of happiness, only integrity leads to "the bliss of blamelessness."

So, to bring about such bliss, we consciously cultivate integrity by mindfully listening our internal moral compass, realizing that the more we follow it the happier we will be.We all have a conscience and so automatically feel unsettled when we’re not in alignment with our values. Perhaps the problem is we don't realize WHY we are feeling unsettled because we don't make the connection. The practice of mindfulness can help by making us more aware of our inner wisdom, and so is a great ally.

Sometimes, as we become more aware we also realize how much we fall short from the ideal. So practicing integrity becomes a humbling process that is purifying. It also requires genuine compassion and kindness for ourselves once we begin to see the depths of conditioning that cause us to act with attachment, aversion or confusion, even when we know better. As Ram Dass says in Be Here Now,

"As you further purify yourself, your impurities will seem grosser and larger. Understand that it's not that you are not getting more caught in the illusion. It's just that you're seeing it more clearly. The lions guarding the gates get fiercer as you go towards each inner temple. But, of course, the light gets brighter too."

What do we do with the guilty feelings? There’s actually a Buddhist antidote for guilt. If you act unskillfully (notice they don't say 'badly'), it’s recommended to practice what is called "wise reflection" or "wise remorse." When you realize you've done something unskillful, rather than drowning in guilt, ask yourself, "What can I learn from the experience that will help me remember to act more skillfully if a similar situation arises again?"

And in the end, it is our intention to act with integrity that matters most of all. So we keep trying, keep learning, and keep reminding ourselves to act with integrity. 

"I never had a policy; I just tried to do my very best each and every day. " -Abraham Lincoln

Awakening Joy course - May

The topic for this month is "Finding Joy in Difficult Times." I am actually struggling with this since things are going so well for me right now and I am not experiencing much difficulty (except for my finals and the papers I have to write!). When I started this program back in February, however, I was certainly experiencing one of the most difficult periods of my life. And since everything changes, difficult times are sure to return to my life. So, this topic has much to offer; if nothing else, learning how to cope when those challenges come is a great tool to have in your toolbox.

The most important lesson, I believe, is not to deny when you are depressed or in pain. Finding joy does NOT mean pretending or forcing it. Being human is hard and we will feel difficulties, that is a fact. The Buddha even started out his teachings with the First Noble Truth that the unenlightened life is suffering. His exact word, dukkha, translates to mean stress, unsatisfactoriness, and unreliability. This we can all identify with. So it is not a question of 'if' the hard stuff comes, but 'when' it comes. But the hope we have is that our suffering can lead us to moksha, liberation. After all, the Buddha not only taught about suffering, but the end of suffering.

The first step is not to resist the pain when it comes. There is no use in complaining, whining, or wishing it were different. That actually only makes it worse. Instead, what we should do (and is completely counter intuitive) is open up to the experience. By staying open, you can learn to let the pain of life's inevitable challenges move through you rather than get stuck in you.

This requires mindfulness because the resistance that intensifies our suffering is in our mind. We need to stop trying to protect ourselves from our painful experiences and mindfully open to them. It is also important to remember that the pain and sorrow is not permanent. Everything changes. As we stay mindful with our pain, we soon learn that our suffering is not as solid as it appears.

In working with our pain there are two important steps:
1) Feeling your feelings (without getting lost in the story)
2) looking at how you can grow in this situation, deepening your understanding of the human experience and life.

Try this "Recasting Exercise"
1. Bring to mind a difficult situation you are dealing with in your life.
2. What are the emotions that you’re feeling? Have you allowed yourself to feel all the feelings?
3. What are the lessons you’re learning from this situation? How can you find meaning as you go through this difficulty?

Often, we will find that when we stay open to our suffering, we also open up to all the positive qualities that are inside us - understanding, compassion, and kindness. In learning to face our pain we deepen our compassion. And we find a courage we didn't know we had.

"There is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken, a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable."

Awakening Joy Course - April

A student once complained to Nisargadatta, a great twentieth-century spiritual teacher from India, that daily life seemed so tedious to him. "You've done the most amazing thing," the sage replied. "You've made life boring!" In our culture of thirty second sound bites, we can easily get addicted to a never-ending desire for peak experiences. And so in the midst of abundance, we can find life lacking.

The answer, and the focus for this month, is Gratitude. The founder of Gestalt psychology, Fritz Perls, used to say, "Boredom is simply lack of attention." And as we know from last month's practice of mindfulness, when we pay attention, anything can be interesting. "There are two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle," said Albert Einstein.

Tibetans Buddhists say that gratitude opens the heart like a satellite dish. We all know the dangers of letting our minds rule our lives - it is pretty easy to get caught up in sordid stories and dramas that leave us drained and depressed. But by practicing gratitude, we can bypass our minds and go straight to our hearts - and experience the awe and wonder and beautiful Mystery of being alive. And the amazing part is that by opening to gratitude, we also begin to attract into our lives even more blessings and benevolence.

And it is a practice. You can consciously cultivate appreciation and gratitude to arise in your heart. Each moment is an opportunity to develop a grateful heart by paying attention to the many blessings, big and small, around you. One of the main effects of practicing gratitude is that our "appreciation radar" is out much more consistently and we start seeing what is good in our life more often and more clearly. Also, negative states like anger and resentment dissolve in the presence of gratitude. Some gratitude exercises to try include:

• Look for and appreciate the good stuff - keep your radar out on the look-out
• Appreciate others, especially in the workplace and at home
• Appreciate yourself, become less dependent on praise from others
• Write a daily gratitude email to a friend as a practice
• Keep a gratitude list or gratitude journal
• Write a gratitude letter to someone thanking them for all the ways they've enriched your life
• Express your gratitude directly in the moment
• Take a moment to say something you are grateful for at dinner everyday

One of the experts in the science of gratitude is UC Davis psychologist Bob Emmons who wrote the book Thanks! How the science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. His work has found that people who are more grateful have higher levels of well-being - they tend to be happier, less depressed, less stressed, and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships. Another expert in this field, MJ Ryan who wrote Attitudes of Gratitude, says that gratitude activates the parasympathetic nervous system which floods the brain and body with endorphins, oxytocin and other feel-good hormones.

In Be Here Now, Ram Das says you can go through life resisting every situation with a cry of "unnnkkkhh" or opening to it with "aaaahhhhh." In other words, you can go through life seeing everything as a burden or a gift. The choice is ours: whining or appreciation. Go for appreciation.

"The secret to awakening joy is the live with a grateful heart that can hold with acceptance and gratitude the 10,000 joys and sorrows."

Why I love that man......

I admit it fully - I love Krishna Das.

A lot.

No other living being has embodied the spiritual journey - with all of its humanity - as much as he has. Listening to KD talk and chant, I cannot help but FEEL his authenticity and his love. It is strong and palpable and unquestionable. I feel it in his eyes, in his words, and most of all - in his chanting.

And yet at the same time, KD is no polished saint to be worshiped. He is fully broken - as we all are - and completely unashamed and honest about it. With the utmost beauty, he embraces his brokenness and shares it with all of us in order to show us that his achievements are not due to his own will, but due to the grace of God.

Each time I see him, he is wearing the same red flannel shirt, sporting the same scruffy stubble, and telling the same stories of his previous immature, arrogant ways. But when he starts talking about his encounters with his guru, Neem Karoli Bhaba, one can FEEL the grace of this holy teacher. One can feel the transformation that occurred inside the heart of KD when he met his guru. One can FEEL how KD's heart was opened and burned through a great purifying fire, which annihilated him - and caused him to be reborn.

I love him because he's not perfect, he's totally human, and yet - he reminds us that regardless of our supposed perfection in worldly terms, we are called and can be perfect in our love.

I welcome you to fall in love yourself.........

Download one of his newest songs, Narayana/For Your Love, for FREE through Amazon.
Watch and listen on KD's YouTube channel
KD is also coming to DC on April 8th. All the cool kids are coming. :)

Being radical about aggression

The founders of Jivamukti Yoga, David Life and Sharon Gannon, often talk about yoga being "radical." Unlike the way this word is commonly pejoratively used in today's parlance, they define the word to mean "going back to the root." In other words, yoga is a no-bullshit philosophy that doesn't treat surface symptoms but delves deeply into the root causes of problems.

So, one of the greatest problems plaguing humanity has been aggression. On a societal level, this has led to wars and horrific genocides, and technology has only made this threat more grave. On a personal level, aggression has led to suffering - even science is now proving this. So conquering aggression, both internally and externally, is the answer to leading a fuller, more happy life and furthering the evolution of humanity as a species.

Where's the disconnect? Obviously something isn't working. I have devoted my life to studying conflicts, but you don't have to be an academic to know this. Well, David and Sharon teach we must take a 'radical' approach and look to the roots of aggression.

Aggression starts by fundamentally misunderstanding the basic principle that all of creation is interconnected and interdependent. Instead, aggression is rooted in the false assumption of selfishness, which results in an attitude of exploitation. To heal this foundational ignorance, one must radically change how one views life - and one's actions. This is why David and Sharon, and many others, believe that leading a vegan lifestyle - or working towards one - is a solution. This lifestyle paradigm is rooted in an inclusive understanding that all sentient beings, and our Earth, deserve our mercy and kindness. It also sees that being compassionate with other humans isn't enough - we must go to the root impulse of exploitation in order to heal. And this extends to all of life.

It doesn't take a leap of logic to understand this. Just today, an article in the New York Times talked about how animal abuse is connected to other cruel impulses: Animal Abuse as Clue to Additional Cruelties.

What would a society based in this inclusive understanding of interconnectedness look like? Will Tuttle, PhD., does a beautiful job exploring this question in his inspirational book The World Peace Diet.

Now, I am not saying this is easy or perfect. I personally struggle every day with this. But if we are to truly heal aggression, we need to see the problem clearly first. And then do our best, whatever that is for us right now, to hack away at those ugly roots.

How to Cultivate a Generous Heart

“Dr. Chodak could easily pass unnoticed, until you meet his gaze—a gaze filled with the perception of one who has seen so much that he has seen everything, seeing beyond the suffering he has experienced, beyond all the evil and the abuses he has witnessed, yet expressing boundless compassion for his fellow human beings.”

In an article by Tricycle Magazine, Tibetan doctor named Tenzin Chodak offers tips for how to cultivate unconditional love towards others, an inclusiveness that incorporates all beings no matter who they are. Dr. Chodak, who had been a personal physician to the Dalai Lama, was imprisoned by the Chinese in 1959. He remained in prison for 21 years, 17 of which he was beaten and tortured daily—physically and psychologically—and his life was continually threatened. Below, he outlines four qualities which made possible not only his survival, but also the great triumph of his heart.

1. First, we must endeavor to see every situation in a larger context.
Like the Dalai Lama—who often speaks of how one’s enemy teaches one patience—Dr. Chodak saw his enemy as his spiritual teacher, who led him to the wisest and most compassionate place in himself.

2. Second, we must see our enemies, or the difficult people in our lives, as human beings like ourselves.
Dr. Chodak never forgot the commonality of the human condition. The Dalai Lama said, “Your enemies may disagree with you, may be harming you, but in another aspect, they are still human beings like you. They also have the right not to suffer and to find happiness. If your empathy can extend out like that, it is unbiased, genuine compassion.”

3. Third, we must let go of pride and feelings of self-importance.
These attitudes, which can arise so easily in times of conflict, become the seeds of even more difficulty. Dr. Chodak actually attributed his survival to the ability to let go of self-importance and self-righteousness.

4. Finally, we must embrace the understanding that hatred never ceases through hatred; it ceases only in response to love.
In situations of conflict, lovingkindness and compassion grow when we understand them to be the most beneficial motivation for responsive and effective action.

Awakening Joy Course - March

As promised, today I will share with you the teachings for the month of March. As I wrote earlier, I am undertaking a 10-month course on cultivating happiness called the "Awakening Joy Course." Each month, I will share with you the teachings. The focus for March is on Mindfulness.

This month we learn that mindfulness is the basic tool for a joyful life. This word is brandished a lot in our culture, but often gets misunderstood. Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different. It is a fearless and full presence with what is.

Mindfulness is the underpinning for all other practices in invoking joy because:
1) mindfulness has the unique quality of strengthening all wholesome states of mind and weakening all unwholesome states
2) mindfulness can be used to amplify states of well-being; by bringing attention to wholesome states, the feeling of gladness increases.

     Wholesome States-->lead to happiness       Unwholesome States-->lead to unhappiness
                generosity                                                             greed
                kindness                                                               anger
                clarity                                                                   confusion

According to psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson you can store and emphasize positive experiences through mindfulness by allowing the experience to register in our memory, which slowly changes the landscape of our mind. He outlines three simple steps:

1) Pay attention to the good things, both in your world and inside yourself. Allow yourself to feel pleasure fully and vividly.
2) Keep your attention on the feeling of pleasure so it lingers; let it fill your body with positive sensations and emotions.
3) Sense the positive experience is soaking into your body and brain, registering deeply in emotional memory. Take about 10-20 seconds, continuously relaxing your body and absorbing the positive experience.

So how do we practice mindfulness? In an excellent article, long-time Buddhist practitioner Jack Kornfield explains the four principles for mindful transformation, known by the the acronym RAIN:

1) RECOGNITION - we step out of denial and acknowledge the reality of experience here and now.
2) ACCEPTANCE - we relax and open to what is.
3) INVESTIGATION - we see deeply by examining our body, feelings, and mind.
4) NONIDENTIFICATION - We stop taking the experience as me or mine.

Lastly, here are some daily life mindfulness exercises:

1) When your computer is booting up, use the time to take a few mindful breaths
2) When you're waiting in line, use it as a mindfulness period. Remember you are alive, feel your body and take a few mindful breaths.
3) Before you eat, stop and reflect on how the food got to be in front of you. Give thanks for the food and take the first bit mindfully.
4) Take a regular chore - like washing the dishes or making your bed - and make it a game to see how mindful you can be.
5) Whenever you think of it, stop and take three mindful breaths and feel your body.

Studying Happiness

We all know that happiness can't be found "out there" but must be cultivated inside, but how many of us know how to do that?? Well, both Buddhism and now science have identified specific practices that purposefully awaken and enhance our innate capacity to be joyful. For me, that seems to be one of the most important things to study in our lives - the science of happiness. Not only does it make our lives more richer, but by being happy we also affect those around us, thus contributing to a domino affect. We all have experienced the powerful contagious effect of a mere smile......now apply that to an embodied sense of joy and delight. Powerful.

How to do it? Well, turns out there is the perfect course designed exactly for this purpose, combining both the latest cutting edge research on the brain and Buddhist teachings. Its called the "Awakening Joy Course" and is an online 10-month experiential course meant to develop our natural capacity for well-being and happiness. It has been so popular that it was featured in O magazine, Yoga Journal, and Health magazine. Join me as I take the course, or join yourself!

If you don't have time for the course, you can also follow along by reading my blogs and the two books: Awakening Joy by James Baraz, and How We Choose to Be Happy by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks.

Below are the teachings from last month.........next blog I will share this month's teachings! Stay tuned....

****************************************************

February - Inclining the Mind Towards Joy

The course is based on three principles:

1) Inclining the Mind Toward Joy

2) Developing and increasing wholesome states of mind that lead to happiness

3) Noticing the feeling of gladness that accompanies wholesome states

The first step is to consciously set the intention to be happy. To literally make that the center of our lives. Its amazing when we reflect how unimportant we make that in everyday life. But this step is forcing us to make it first and to constantly reflect back on that intention, cementing it into our subconscious. Wake up with the intention to be happy and watch how it transforms your day!

Next, to deepen this intention, we must notice joy when it arises. We have evolved as humans to be biased towards registering negativity, but we counter this consciously by being fully present when experiencing happiness and noticing with all our senses. Put in another way, we are working to build up a "storehouse of positive experiences."

Lastly, we identify what brings us joy and make a Nourishment List. These are wholesome activities and experiences that nourish our spirit and lead to greater states of joy. And then we work to incorporate these activities into our lives as much as possible. "If we are too busy to nourish our spirit, we are too busy." 

Supportive Practices:

1) Meditate daily for at least 10 minutes. For instructions go HERE. 

2) Sing every day, or do some other creative expression. Singing is great because it immediately tunes you to a vibration of well-being.

3) Move your body! Yoga is great because it also cultivates the mind-body connection

4) Do something nourishing for yourself regularly. Use your Nourishment List!

5) Journal. Write daily: What am I grateful for? What did I enjoy today? When do I feel satisfied?

EnJOY!

Milarepa, Tibet's Yogi

Milarepa is known as Tibet's greatest yogi, and is a source of great inspiration to me. He is said to be the first to achieve full enlightenment within one lifetime. In a superhuman effort, he rose above the miseries of his younger life and with the help of his Guru, Marpa the Translator, took to a solitary life of meditation until he had achieved enlightenment, thus escaping Samsara (the whirlpool of life and death of worldly existence). In this way, he was very much a jivanmukta.

His story is of particular inspiration to me now as I reflect on the meaning of moksha (liberation). For a variety of reasons, this has become prominent in my current thinking and reflection.....to the point of motivating me to get it tattooed. In three days. :)   More to come........For now, a picture: मोक्ष

As it happens, there will be a premier of a movie about Milarepa coming up in two weeks. It is part of the International Buddhist Film Festival, which is coming to the Smithsonian. All March, we can watch spectacular Tibetan Buddhism films, some premiering for the first time, at the Sackler Gallery's Meyer Auditorium.  For a full schedule, check out: Tibetan Buddhism: Films from Around the World – March  

MILAREPA: Magician, Murderer Saint
This is a vividly told, captivating story of Milarepa, the man who would become Tibet’s greatest yogi, poet and saint (and a major figure in the Karma Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism). In the dramatic setting of 11th century Tibet, the young Milarepa falls into a world of betrayal and hardships. The greed of others upturns his privileged life, dropping him into a void of despair, humiliation, pain and anger, and he sets out to exact revenge.  Filmed on location in breathtakingly scenic Spiti, India, near the Tibetan border. Directed by Tibetan Buddhist lama Neten Chokling (co-star of the hit film The Cup) and starring Jamyang Lodro and Orgyen Tobgyal (both featured in The Cup).
Neten Chokling / Bhutan / 2006 / 90 min. / Producer to attend for Q&A

In Tibetan with English subtitles

"If you lose all differentiation between yourselves and others,
fit to serve others you will be.

And when in serving others you will win success,
then shall you meet with me;

And finding me, you shall attain to Buddhahood."



Milarepa

The Hugging generation

Fascinating article about how the current American teenage generation greets one another by hugging. Perhaps an indication of teens reaching out to one another for more social interaction in an age of virtual communication? A need for touch? And/or a positive indicator of greater comfort with emotional intimacy....

For Teenagers, Hello Means "How About A Hug?"

---